Poor Part I

Poor is the first word in the acronym that was used to describe my “pity party”. To me when the word poor comes to mind I think of someone who suffers from financial hardship or something  that is of power worksmanship or quality. To be honest in my life growing up I can say I have been both.  Up until the time I left home with my sister at 12 I lived a pretty comfortable life. Of course I had no concept of money or what it took to run a household than and to be perfectly honest I never really went without much. Up to the point before the big jolly man that came at Christmas no longer existed in my world Christmas was a big deal for me. I remember the last Christmas I had believing in Santa and the mountains of presents that filled the room. Once I stopped believing in Santa there were no more mountains on Christmas morning. 

When I left home with my sister at 12 we left the house with what we could get in the car. My sister had a job as a night clerk at a hotel so we were able to stay there otherwise there’s no telling where we would have ended up. We lived there for about a month until a travelling salesman that came to stay at the hotel a few times a year who had been interested in my sister convinced her to pack us up and travel with him to another state. He traded in his Cadillac and we were off to a new life. We made stops in New Mexico, Arizona, California, and Las Vegas between Thanksgiving and New Years day before settling into an apartment in Colorado Springs Colorado

The apartment we started off in was pretty nice with all the bells and whistles that come with luxury apartment living. All was well for a couple months till my sister discovered that he was a fraud and that he was in debt to the company they both worked for to the point he wasn’t able to pay the money back. She decided to be done with him and get a place on her own. At this point it was just me, my sister, and my almost 1 year old nephew now. Just after my 13^th birthday we moved to another apartment just the 3 of us. At this point she had begun dating a new guy. He was a very nice guy who treated her good, took my nephew on as his own child and was even accepting of her extra kid which was me. One thing I can say about my childhood is my sister always had my back. She may have struggled a lot but no matter what I always knew she loved me and would never let me down. This began a pattern of us moving every 6 months I was in junior high school. Starting with the school I began junior high in when I was still at my mom’s house I went to a total of 7 different schools. We lived pay check to pay check on welfare. In order to afford Christmas the year after we left my sister rang a bell for the Salvation Army in the freezing cold temperatures of a Colorado winter while she was 4 months pregnant just to make sure my nephew and I didn’t have to go without.

 My sister always did what she had to do to take care of us. Times were hard yet I always knew during this time that no matter what I would be ok because she was there.

I think this is probably where I learned that as a mother no matter what you took care of your children. I learned that you do everything in your power with every part of your being to make sure that they knew the love and sacrifice that you made for them.

Stay tuned for Poor Part II

Just another PLUM Day..Not!

"Are you having a plum day?" I remember them saying. It was common for them to say that when I was depressed or feeling sorry for myself. That and the world's smallest violin. You know the one where you take two fingers and rub them together?

I remember my 14th birthday party and my best friend started her period at MY birthday party. When she discovered she started it she came to talk about it the fact that we were at my birthday party went out the window. I remember being sad that I wasn't the center of attention on the one day I felt should have been. I was used to it though. I was never the pretty girl that the boys noticed or popular enough to fit in. I was on my 5th middle school and in 7th grade. Now here was my best friend and the only real friend I had taking my spotlight. When someone finally remembered why we were there it was "Stop being so selfish, she can't help that she started here." when someone else overheard it they asked what was wrong and was told  "Oh she's just having a plumday." At that point it was much more than just a Plumday. Almost two years earlier my mom let me pack up what I could get into the car and leave with my sister after a confrontation with my stepfather. The day we left the house without my mother coming home to say goodbye was one of the moments in my life that changed my life forever. It was the moment that I realized that my mother had made the decision to choose her husband over her children.

This is only the beginning of my story...there will be more to come. I want to just make it clear this blog is not to bash my mother or my step father for the mistakes they made in my childhood just to tell my story. Every one of us has our own shortcomings and make mistakes as parent's due to our own issues and upbringing and I myself make mistakes with my own children. I have since forgiven my parents and my family for the things you will read here but telling my story is important to share what has lead me to this ministry. Though times were hard if it wasn't for the things I lived through good and bad I wouldn't be the woman and mother I am today. So just want to say I love my parents and my family dearly and again I mean no disrespect to anyone.

Stay tuned for the next part of my story...